there are singles shoved down my panties. this is the type of summer job i always wanted.
he suggested i make a website called "cum on molly's face", to "start off my acting career"
Why the hell does jager make you get to the point of having to army crawl around cause you cant feel your legs and scream jaga bombs when puking??
You yelled "bananas are an excellent source of pottasium!"4 times in the middle of class. how do you not remember?
I don't even know what potassium is.
apparently he was unaware pussies come in unshaved form. curse you redtube and your unholy lies
My knee is bleeding. This cheeseburger is the 3rd thing I made out with today and I think I got a job with the ducks. Catalina is poppin
It was a cry at the bar alone type of night, served with a side of passing out facedown in my nachos.
It's been this way for a few days. I had chick fil a on Friday so this could be an attack from the Gay Gods as punishment.
Yea no bueno and I only brought enough weed to last one night. And it was no Hanukah nug, it didn't last 8 days.
I am too high to deal with coming home to 11 naked people in my living room
don't judge my taste in strippers
we just drove past a kid stuck in a tree what a wonderful time to be alive
I woke up to his balls in my face, so naturally I limboed under him and headed to the bathroom. When I came out he was asleep on the floor.
Whenever you have to pee or whatever I'll be over here to harass you
I woke up handcuffed to a bed wearing nothing but an army belt. Does this count as thanking our country?
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