therell be strippers and coke right?
no strippers. just coke.
i hate this fuckin recession
My phone has seen less use in the last three days than Tom Brady's condoms.
guess they didn't have any donuts in her size.
Dnt forget 40 tuesday,dress nice! Like job interview nice, like funeral nice, like a couple muhfuckas sittin on their lawn drinkin forties on a tuesday nice!
My meds have diminished my sex drive, this must be what regular women feel like
Note to self: semen does not count as food to take medicine with
I just spent a pre-4th of july celebration riding in a raft being towed by a car through a town that I've never heard of handing out flyers for a river rafting company that I never knew existed. Good night.
Here's my first problem: I'm drunk
I feel like I'm eight miles away and my brain is just now getting here. You got a lot of fucking catching up to do.
All I know is you walked out of the kitchen in some kind of French onion dip bra and started passing out individual chips to guys saying " do you dip?"
And to add, there was a fat guy right next to me who, when the girls would shake their butts, he would let out a shrill xena warrior princess cheer
You called me a pussy and continued to eat an entire jar of peanut butter with only your hand.
Like the friend zone has no room for winks
I wish I could take a screenshot of how things literally look from my eyeballs right now
Date with Air Force guy was nice btw. And for my next trick I'll talk him into fucking me in his fighter jet at 30,000 ft.
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