WHY DIDN'T ANYON E TELL ME SHE WAS SIXTEEN
I made out with a deaf person. Also I've been drunk 11 days in a row now.
if i dont get laid while im dressed as Tim Tebow, i'm just staying true to the costume.
The google font looked peculiar last night, but then up close I realized it was just dry vomit.
You need 4-7 business day to recover from a fingering like that.
Because at some point last night we decided that shotgunning beers from a paint stick was a good idea
Yeah i'd say someone being in the room while you're doing someone makes them eligible for fb friendship
Seriously, she had fingers that made me thank a god I don't even believe in that I'm gay.
Do you want the fat one with an ok face or the skinny ugly one?
It doesn't matter as long as our shame is in tandem.
I consider my hand a solid 5. So if I'm dipping below a 7.5, I might as well go with old faithful.
IM HUNGOVER AT MOTHERS DAY BRUNCH AND A NUN FROM CHURCH JOINED US
TELL HER ABOUT THE GODDAMNED MOTHERFUCKING POTATOES
i made out with his shirt. MDMA, man.
There is a woman in the stall next to me giving a pep talk to her daughter that wants to call off her wedding. I'm afraid to pee!
Your vagina is awesome, like it needs to teach a class for other vaginas
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