I'm gunna smoke cigs today. I feel like I'm in that powerful and gritty mood which requires them
She really thought E.D. was a sexually position.
He wasn't lying when he said he was immune to pepperspray. He pretended it burned for like 12 seconds and told the cops he was kidding he was alright. We'll be there soon.
You yelled "hold my dick" before you tackled the guy away from the dj and two random girls moved to actually hold it, then argued about it. I want that whore aura!
I feel like our low point of the night was when we had to start chasing with ice cubes and wheat thins.
also, the amount of semen in my carpet right now is unforgivable...
When he texted me, I got a little wet. Until he asked me to get Jimmy Johns before I got to his house.
Still dying that you shit outside
So I'll be starting a scrapbook from all the mugshots of the guys I've slept with
I came to the conclusion that Tinder and having the day off are not good for my relationship.
He's gonna do me a solid for doing her a solid. It's like pay it foward. But with sex.
I shouldn't have that kind of responsibility when the prospect of being high is readily available. All I could do was hula hoop and smoke cigarettes last night. My remembrance of anything important was out the window.
THAT'S NOT NICE
NEITHER WAS PROMISING NOT TO TAKE MY SISTER'S VIRGINITY, THEN PROMPTLY DOING SO
How am i even supposed to meet his daughter? "Hi, Claire, I hear we have so much in common, like we both love your Dad and also we're almost the same age."
I hate when my Bumble matches make it hard for me to stalk them.
Randomize
