i only hope i can top last weeks sext session
'hiiiigh' is saved in my t9 for a reason
it really sends the message that i like to impregnate mortal women and have them birth fantastic half man-half god infants.
u ever jackoff with ur legs spread and pretend ur fuckin urself as a girl and get mad u'll never know what that feels like. Or to fly like a bird?
Did u absorb a fraternal twin in the womb?
you kept slapshing your drinks on people saying the power of christ compels you.
I just finished washing your number off of my chest. I'm Bryan by the way.
My halloween constume SCREAMS "Hey i just got done with a shitty relationship and I'm DTF"
You know you can't live off of vodka and pizza rolls forever
I'VE ALREADY MADE MY CHOICE
Do they make liter beers?
They make 40s
Do they make 2 liter beers
They make 2 40s
I was telling everyone at the frat that they had to try the "fantastic refreshment" that was everclear, vodka and country time
I had to bail out of the tour de Franzia because I have class Saturday morning. Grad school is ruining my life
you don't understand it took me an hour and a half to escape that bed, I had to memorize his sleeping patterns.
Do you want to go soon I'm overthinking life and my butthole again
That went from 0 to lesbian orgy much faster than expected...
SPICY FOODS AND BLOWJOBS DON'T MIX.
YOU SAID YOU'D TRY ANYTHING ONCE YOU LIAR
Randomize
