Is there a tactful way for me to ask a girl to let me know when she gets her period?
you handed me your bra at the bar and said 'hold my purse'
Im shirtless eating a burrito. How urgent is this?
when she was 9 she got kicked out of our 4-H camp dance for pole dancing on the spirit stick
Look, I said I'm sorry. In the shower, "are you happy to see me" sounded just like "could you please pee on me". Honest mistake.
I'm currently trying to decide if crown or wild turkey will hurt worse coming back out through my nose later.
crossing my fingers that hitting golf balls off my pourch was a dream and not something that actaculy happened
I have the WORST cramps EVER. I think this is gods way of saying 'you're welcome, last warning. stop being a slut.'
You told us that you were going to become a 'new man' and threw your tv set out of a window.
Stumbled out of my bed this morning into the bathroom at 8 am still drunk, obviously. The Mormon on my floor was in the bathroom. I could practically hear her doing hail marys for me.
You're emotionally mature, right? I said you were.
I have at least four things in my line of sight that have Kermit the Frog on them in my dorm. Does that answer your question?
she said she doesn't remember seeing me at all last night. ...I was with her for six hours, there's no way she could have been blackout the whole time
What are you bringing to class tomorrow?
sorrow
It was beautiful and filled the audience with hope for the future. :3 I wish I could speak more but sleep werk nighty
I asked how you were doing?
Had a job interview today. Walked into the room and said "IT'S GO TIME, BITCHES".
Randomize
