He famously once noted that women should wear white "like all other domestic appliances,"
Just washed my feet between classes in the bathroom...Four girls totally judged me...
phil was outside the bar last night, sitting on the ground playing songs on a guitar hero guitar to people walking by for money...best version of free bird ever
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
My warmest regards to the fish in that koi pond I puked in.
you went all the way to UK and still managed to hook up with someone from our highschool...
You'd be proud of me. They tried to give me bread to sober up, but I told them no, im on a diet.
At this point if I didn't go to work hungover I think the whole place would think something is wrong
Just follow the currents of life. And if they take me on to a guys dick, so be it.
Last night was a "wash hands with dog shampoo" kind of night
I fully committed to my astronaut costume, to say the least. blacking out on moonshine and having a moonwalk of shame this morning: happy Halloweekend.
I asked him for something to clean up with after sex and he handed me a sham wow. A SHAM WOW
My greatest achievement in life thus far is being the go to friend when you have questions about butt plugs.
ITS THE FIRST FRIDAY NIGJT AFTER MOVING IN WITH THE NEW ROOMIE AND I ACTUALLY JIST RIPPED MY TAMPON OUT AND THREW IT IN THE NEIGHBORS YARD WERE GOINF ON THE BOAT AND SLEPEING IN HIS AMBULANCE GOODNIGHT
Sorry for trying to wake you up by slapping your ass with a fruit 2 go.
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