Totally saw a hot amputee. I think this is called character growth.
Pat told us he showed us his penis because he's "a nice guy".
so wait, they're fucking, but it doesn't count as cheating cause they only do anal?
you got in your car and made the sounds of a NASCAR, then called me on your phone and I was your pit crew. then you apparently you won the race, and THAT'S when you tried to backflip off the top of your car.
As far as classy things to do in front of your ex go, throwing up on your own shirt is not one of them.
she pulled the sheets over her head to blow me but the static kept making little lightning bolts and I was too high and got really scared she was going to electrocute me.
Congratulations, you have helped solved the mysterious disapperance of Dani's phone which was found in the munchies cabinet next to the oreos. Your reward is star power as well as a fat ass bowl of Nebula. You may proceed through the wardrobe and into Narnia for your prize.
I guess I've just seen a lot of penises since then
Girl, that was the lost night of 2012 for me and I have buried that night deep deep away..
Dude, it's not gay. It's winter.
What's more sad than going to Target to buy Plan B and the new Sam Smith album?
It's acceptable to bring him back to my parents house and fuck on the couch right??
Remember the time you puked your contact lens out?
i woke up with a shamrock tattoo on my wrist and a fat bruise on my hipbone. please tell me its not real.
I’ll call you in a minute. Trying to book an AirBnB so I can finally bang the yummy guy from yoga
Your downward dog is going to rock his cock. I’m jealous
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