I just realized I haven't had steady access to a woman's body since I was breastfeeding.
this girl im hooking up with thought my ring was a purity ring... apparently im taking it too slow
i didnt mean to paint the dog... it just kinda happened
She just got in car wreck. Wreck sex is better than break up sex
Before you ask, yes. Whatever you're wearing IS too slutty for his mom's funeral.
Which is scary since we both think with our vaginas
When his Irish accent comes out my uterus hums. Or some productive organ down there, I'm not sure of the logistics
I used the picture of my mom and I doing blow job shots in Vegas in the presentation for my Spanish final. Graduation here I come.
She kept saying how cute and adorable I was. I felt like a care bear getting a blowjob
He invites me over too FucK and i wind up eating 6 jimboys tacos with his roommates. While he waited in his room. Maybe next time
my friend was passed out in the bathroom so I threw up in the coffee maker, not the pot the water reservoir that kind of drunk.
I'm at that point in my life where keeping an extra pair of underwear in my purse is normal.
After sex he brought chocolates and said he loves RuPaul's Drag Race. How many points does he score for that?
This is the best 30th birthday ever. In a Motel 6 drinking a shower beer and sending slow-mo dick helicopter videos to you.
Yeah that was post sex. I was thinking in my mind, no wonder he didnt ask me to call him daddy since he actually is a dad
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