Fuck?...well quicky, i have to study...unless you can read my book while i bang you, then it can last four chapters
I can be that talented
I just heard a girl in all seriousness say, "I told him I'm not a stalker. I just really really want to talk to him."
I just fell down the stairs in the library and further deviated my septum. That's why I don't study.
I need you to stand in the corner and ref this threesome. Wear stripes.
I have bruises all over from falling so much last night, I even have bruises on my arms from them picking me up off the street.. Oh vodka nights.
It's one of those mornings where you wake up and want to go to church for the first time in ten years. THAT shameful.
So our annual Dick Trip has been tentatively scheduled for the week of July 1 - 5. This years theme is "Fucking for Freedom".
You would be so proud at how green we're being. Re-using last night's jello shot containers.. saving the world one step at a time
Plus, I have my cousin, the dominatrix, to help me out if things get out of hand
He texted me at 2am telling me to come get my American flag from his place, if that's not code for sex idk what is
I just smoked weed with my physics professor. Tell me how my life is this.
I just masterbated to the home shopping channel...what have I become...
Do you think if I had a tempurpedic bed he would still be able to feel me fingering myself after we have sex?
after last night, ive never not wanted to live so much in my life.
I'm not sure you count what happened last night as sex.
Randomize