I like to think it a success when the cops are called
he texted me telling him i gave him the clap. but i think he gave it to me and i gave it back to him
What's the over under on catching something from your sister?
i saw the poster for your lost tequila... what a shame
The stripper was waving you to the stage, not up on the stage. That's why you got choked out.
he just gave me a love letter in polish. he thinks i speak polish. I DONT SPEAK POLISH
Check the bible. I hear he keeps his weed in leviticus.
Its kind of weird knowing that im only seeing you that day to fuck in some woods
I masterbated to the rocky theme song. I'm pretty sure that just beat any sex experience I've ever had.
I just started the bonfire using a tampon. Who knew they could have multiple uses?
Wish me luck. My vagina needs it.
May his noodley appendage touch you.
Thanks for DJing my sex last night. You were on point 💜
shit i just threw up on a freshman
i don't know if i should laugh or feel bad..
nevermind it was a sophmore, laugh.
What did you give up for lent?
Diet and excersize. And I'm never going back...
I am a unicorn in a field of flowers, you asshole.
Randomize
