im in a kiddie pool, high, with a keg in arms reach. If i had a sandwich and a blowjob this would be the best day ever
forecast for tonight- shitshow with a chance of tbell
my version of bright and sunny.
I can't believe he cheated
Whatever. Anytime she has an orgasm, it's because I taught him how
we've been dating more than a month and i just realized there's no hair on his chest..
you've had sex with him. you must've seen him naked.
nah, i feel like naked sex would be getting too serious for us..
I'll see ya tonight at your house...and I'm bringing you a special treat that starts with a V and ends with us eventually going to rehab one day.
I actually enjoy jerking off to her facebook more than I enjoy actually fucking her. Just something with our generation
that's the best thing i've ever said to a penis
I have a cracked rib, no way in hell I'm bottoming for him tonight!
I got laxative. And a toothbrush. Because who wants to buy just laxative on a Friday night?
So your brother is gay after all... Just caught him making out with my brother... Apparently he's gay too
I was orgasming and dying of laughter at the same time. I think I've found the One.
You put on some guys Birkenstocks that were abandoned on the dance floor overtop of your flats. Then ran out of the bar high gives the bouncer and said "look at my new kicks" then he was like woah wait a minute someone is missing those and made you return them. You were very upset
I don't need romance, I need cheese sticks
I'm glad I didn't see Grandma stumbling drunk and peeing herself...it would be like seeing my future.
the teacher told me he was disappointed and when I asked why he just shook his head. remember that kid that caught us having sex behind the school? pretty sure that was his son.
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