Well douche your snatch and let's go!
i was so high it looked like the chipmunks movements were coordinated to that lady gaga song
her fupa was seducing me. this is the last time i'm doing shrooms.
i seriously just saw a stripper from last weekend walk into the classroom next to me!!
I don't remember which guy I met at the bar is coming to pick me up. It will be like my birthday surprise.
I had forgotten what it was like to go to all four classes. It's exhausting.
I just sneezed cum. He better have a damn good day at work.
Another Sunday, another 100 chicken nuggets
Yea we slept in ur room but im 80% sure we didnt have any peanut butter in there
And for those of you keeping score at home this is the 7th time I've found Casey passed out head first in a bowl of chips at a party I didn't even know she was at
i may have given a gay guy with a mohawk my number last night that said... "you are straight" omg so glad a whole year til my next birthday... also i hit myself in the face with a car door. nice.
I think the God that I only kind of believe in, definitely hates me.
i told someone my fallback plan was to be a slutty bartender and i needed the practice as i straddled them to pour a shot
I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
I think I am just gonna marry that lesbian. She is more of a respectful gentleman than any of the guys I've slept with.
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