i'm three days dirty after drinking 14 hours last night and some other questionable behavior (hula hooping at a large concert, for example) i will just always bring the class. and the sluttiness.
I like daylight savings. I don't care if it's 4 oclock it's not daydrinking if it's dark out
seek help.
So she comes up to me at the end of the night and asks me if I going to take her home and fuck her. I pretty much had to right?
you had an obligation.
There's people holding up abortion signs everywhere. I guess the people of Florida want you to remember you fucked up on Spring Break.
Just had to explain to a senior manager why I had duct tape residue on my wrist and hand. This weekend was a success.
There's a hand-carved wooden bong in my backpack, and i really wish i could remember last night now.
The vomit I understand but how is there seaweed in my bed?
My lower body still feels like its been through a garbage disposal and a trash compactor. In that order.
I can't remember dinner
Hahaha "rub in the ketchup on your face, It'll just look like blush." some gay waiter said that to you, and you go "good idea!"
She tried to sing jingle balls while blowing me
They won't let me buy alcohol in the airport until 9am. Super judgemental
Okay Im still jerking off but now with the Reality of Law School Looming In The Distance
You know. You being in a happy healthy relationship is REALLLYY cutting into our drinking alone together time.
I'd kiss your neck and collarbone and then run my tongue up your neck to just behind your ear
And then lightly kick the curve inside your ear
it is time to test the effects of half a loaf of bread and overconfidence on the human body
Randomize
