I was excited because I thought I didn't have to tell you about the crabs, but surprise! You got em!
I kept calling his name while we were having sex cuz i was so proud that i remembered it.
The parties out here are fucking awesome and I've got the grades to prove it.
it's like god just wants me to be high for five days in a row. keep the blizzards coming.
Please come to History lecture. The kid two seats over is belligerently drunk.
I didn't exactley write on my bucket list -- "hook up with a townie at a drivers intervention program"
I need a horse. I don't think you can get a DUI on a living creature.
please just be careful, i just switched my facebook status to "in a relationship", i would look really pathetic if i had to change it back to "single" already
Can I just say I love that you have a kegorator on your wedding registry?
Just to let you know... If you ever want to get me a gift, the One Direction perfume comes out soon....... It's called Our Moment. It's an appropriate gift for a 25 year old woman.
I went over to help her build a porch, but we decided that was too much work, so we just got high and watched Scooby Doo
If I had a dollar for every straight boy that questioned their sexuality because of me, I would live a comfortable middle-class life.
Stop making fun of my hookups!
Stop getting hookups that I can make fun of!
He bought me pizza and bourbon and played scrabble with me. So naturally I slept with him.
I didn’t say it was classy, I said it was sexy
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