I'm blazed at jack in the box and my order number is 420. I wish everything in the world made this much sense.
I just saw the host of Singled Out do standup. Holy shit 1995.
I am the master of subtle flirting. I seduced him by simulating a hand job with an epi-pen during training.
it was a whole new experience in the world of ball fondling
Wash that dress asap. You laid down on the kitchen floor and tried to sweep the floor with your body.
You know it's time to cut back when your unemployed drug dealer roommate tells you that you party too hard.
I cannot believe he got soft mid fuck. I just hope he bought that horrible impression you did of my dad. I love you though, you came in clutch tonight.
It was the least I could do after throwing up in your purse.
I had to put a towel over my laptop because the little power light was too bright. New hangover low.
I will gladly accept you into my home with open legs.
Like what? And no, shrooms cannot be party favors.
worse hangover than the time you almost threw up in a plant in front of your daycare kids?
...I don't remember telling you about that but yes
I know I joke about running from my problems a lot but I'm 3 miles off-campus and need a ride
I just talked to him. no worries he had the same fears you did this morning and smelled the dryer to make sure. you officially did not pee in there haha
Somehow my boobs came up in conversation AGAIN last night and I'm still not getting laid...
Is it bad that whip cream tastes like sex to me?
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