last night i found where hot topic managers go to die after they get fired.
did you hook up at the wedding?
No but I jerked off on the hotel sheets. I wanted to get my moneys worth.
No, I left myself a half eaten cucumber and a beer next to my head, pointed at it and said 'you're breakfast' and then passed out.
What I love about college? The kid tripping balls has a kayak made readily available to him on any given Wednesday, Saturday, or Sunday.
wanna tell me why theres a glass of water stuffed with tamptons in the freezer?
in case you were wondering, even a BJ under a blanket on the back of a bus only lifts a 14-hour bus ride to borderline tolerable.
Having a vagina does not stop me from believeing my balls are bigger than yours.
Who'd have thought a guy with a lisp would be so good with his tongue?
That's a lot of people she's fucked in one picture.
Make me food? I don't want to be a science experiment. I'm dunk. Holy shit. Drunk*. Let's do science.
I legitimately just had to leave work because I am too hungover. The front office ladies keep making fun of me.
don't take offense to this but at the strip club tonight I legit believed one girl was you. almost hopped on stage and freaked out at you. you're a beauty.
he just kept biting everyone and singing hilary duff songs. i can't even bring him to a gas station.
Can you dump a guy for having pierced nipples or is that shallow?
I am high. And my mom surpised me today. Now i am high and with my mom....bad idea
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