was i over the top when i said that i wished they made v-neck pants to her?
just passed a tour group on my way home. the guide actually said: 'and THAT kids is whats known as the walk of shame'
he likes ron paul.... that's all i'm going to say....
she was so "full of love" from watching twilight that she came over and gave me a handjob. when does the next movie come out?
It was a new level of awkwardness and terror. The high schoolers you fuck in the summer should never introduce themselves to your mom and godmother
He smells so good today
Seriously, back away from the sexual harrasment suit.
The car just stinks of weed and we are all sitting here trying to hide it from my mom by rolling down the windows, like it's not coming off my sisters boyfriend
Just watched a guy ride a bike off his roof into his pool. On my way to the liquor store, picking you up in 20
Want to get drunk and look at an xray of my dick?
I gave the bathroom attendant $5 last night for turning the sink on for me. What. The. Fuck.
My purpose is to unleash drunk self on strangers, i believe as some terrifying icebreaker, otherwise i too would offer my driving services.
He will be so fat that the winter can not penetrate his blubber.
not sure what stings more, my ass or my pride...
Did I ever tell you what happened that night after he ran you over?
You aaa... you ever forget to wipe your ass?
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