maybe touching the ground while going 70 wasn't such a great idea after all..
I'm glad girls dont get visible erections
But, it would have made life so much easier...
mom just called and i was mid bong hit but i answered anyways coughing and sounding rough she the apologized for waking her little angel up. its 2PM
his blackberry tasks were 1. take names and 2. kick ass
it's like her boobs came off with her bra
Tequila bombs in champagne seemed like a good idea at the time.
there's a guy pushing a keg up the street in a shopping cart. you have to love graduation
Really, thanks for buying me caribou, it helped me out. Today will forever be the day I threw up in a caribou cup in the skyway outside of chipotle.
How was the party last night?
There's a mountain bike in the middle of our apartment. No one will claim it.
I asked the subway guy how many cookies he thought I could smuggle into the bar. He said it looked like a 6 packer. he was correct
also dude totally apologize for the whole drunken "want something in my mouth" text
Before he comes over remember the house standards. Ask yourself "will he stalk my sister or myself in the future?". If the answer is yes, then no, he isn't allowed.
The only rule I'm making for myself tonight is to not drink out of the sink at the bar.
After an orgasm, I always feel the urge to sing A Whole New World from the move Aladdin and I'm not quite sure why.
I can't believe it is only 1:30...I may have to stab myself with scissors for an excuse to go home...
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