New game: find the sober person in Tbell
malibu coconut giveth, and malibu coconut taketh away
They glued all of the ceiling tiles shut.
oh my god. you caused complete remodeling to a college campus that you don't even go to
what's the name of the guy at the bank you blew to get the lower interest rate?
um. wrong number, but good luck with your loan
No, listening to the fray and drinking a bottle of jack daniels does not count as counseling
you were like "guys ... i think i got fingered while dancing tonight"
our poor poor cab driver
I'm a terrible friend...i should have come right over instead of having sex for an hour and a half. :/ want anything from burger king?
I'm like 80% sure we nearly got arrested because we threw fireworks at a car
passed out in the hallway last night, now I'm sitting down in the shower, eating lukewarm canned soup out of Tupperware, listening to Carly rae jepsen.. I had a rough night.
We fucked so hard that when I orgasmed I tore his towel rack off the wall. He was more impressed than mad.
I FOUND THE LEGS
I think after tonight I'm 85% lesbian
He KNOWS ALL THE WORDS TO "JESUS IS MY FRIEND", I swear if he even tries to pull shit with me I'm becoming an actual nun.
I have booze and I wanna give you a bj. How can you be mad at me?
You spent the entire night trying to catch pigeons and hugged a homeless guy and then gave him a pregnancy test.
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