I have nothing to say, just wanted ur phone to vibrate
Grinding on my ninth grade teacher. Dreams really do come true
How you know a guy is gay: they say they would want money, not sexual favors, from emma watson
Leave Me Alone
At least least me cry on your voice mail
So I just used shazaam to figure out a pairs figure skating song. I don't think I could get any gayer.
I didn't budget in chasers this month so were chasing everything with water. Sorry.
the boat had a sign not to jump off the roof of it, which gave us the idea to jump off the roof of it
Just rented the SCUBA equipment. Meet me at the pool to test the underwater beer bong idea.
Seriously-without actually meaning the statement for it's words- that made me want to put a baby in you.
Ran into my neighbor that's always crying. I wonder if she's like; "I ran into my neighbor who's always playing with her vibrator?"
Do you remember doing synchronized hip thrusts to Michael Jackson? Probably one of my favorite parts of the night
Being in nursing school really pays off when your dealer tries to pass off naproxen as Percocet. Like I may have made a C in pharm but I aced the pain drug test
I'm still alive btw, in case you were worried about my well being.
My liver can't handle being unemployed!
They told him he could only pay in monopoly money and he pulls out a wad of it from his pocket... i think im in love
Randomize
