dude..why do i always have to pick up the kitty litter after you drink?
call me tomorrow and ask me about coke-whore stripper. It hasnt happened yet, but im sure it will be plenty disappointing.
I'm just gonna go nail your roommate after we break up anyway.
Miller High Life will be the death of me. Well, that and shower sex.
It's like if you got one of your titties chopped off...think of how much one would miss the other...that's how I feel when we're apart. A tit with no twin.
This would be a good time to bring up the fact that my spider-man fork is MIA
This hangover is so bad, we are pregaming Chinese food with pizza.
Not my man #1 and if he likes it then he should put a title on it. Till then the gates of hell. Aka my vagina are open for entrance.
I am sleeping in the bathtub because my bed is too soft.
So yeah he had good weed?
The last thing I remember was naked hot tub and taking a shot and using the hot tub water as a chaser. Not acceptable.
He was "hot guy in the dark". One of us had to sleep with him. I took the bullet you're welcome.
Are there any rules against fucking the hot TA?
Maybe for her....
Her problem, not mine
Well after we were arrested you just kept chanting "Like a good neighbor state farm is there"
Just to clarify, i'm coming over for tacos not a threesome
i just turned on my printer and found 10 pounds of german chocolate inside. i think i found where you hid your candy last night
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