i'm pretty sure you said "blowjob marathon" lastnight
i totally said that
I just remembered we said the Lord's Prayer before we went out last night.
WHY WOULD YOU LET ME MAKE THAT MUCH NOISE DURING SEX IN RESIDENCE ?!
I tried to push your face into the pillow but then you kicked like a donkey.
I love tequila.
I think I just need to sleep with both of them to see which I want to date.
You just went from promiscuous to slut in 3.2 seconds.
THAT stays in the CAR. And if one fucking person who was NOT in the car brings it up, I will KILL you. Thank you.
..So we should take it off Youtube?
help me choose which girl to send myself boning to my girlfriend to make her want to break up
which one looks the most like her?
You'd be so proud. I have the flu/sore throat, so I've tied a scarf around my head and I'm microwaving jagerbombs. Let it never be said I'm not commited.
I have pink band-aids all over my body, WHAT HAPPENED?
Keg backpack and a Bike
IF WE WERE REALLY BEST FRIENDS FOREVER YOU GUYS WOULD AGREE TO A WATCHING A PORNO PARTY
She loves introducing her friends to my foreskin.
I woke up without my clothes on covered up with a towel on the floor because for some reason I took a bath in my clothes at 2am.
It was marvelous. I was drunkenly conversing with my professor in some of the best Spanish I've ever spoken.
Who in their right mind would frost a cake with their butt?
Maybe for you. You don't have to clean the melted butter off the stove. I LOST THE SPECIAL SEASONINGS.
Really dude? drunk texts at 9 in the morning? its wednesday
Randomize
