i was drunk at family dinner telling about my gay brothers sex ads on criags list
Apparently 151 is to me what spinach is to popeye.
once the "do it" chant starts, any shot at an even remotely dignified party experience is dead.
all I know is he gave me a Cialis and tried to take me home.
She's an ex-convict. She actually got stabbed in the face with a pen while in prison. No big deal.
Someone tried to flush pizza down the toilet. Well, at least tried to
Im rolling a blunt of encouragement for you to return to
Just don't let me fall on anything that can be broken. Unless its a dick
You picked a jagger girl up claimed her then walked out the door with her that was the last we saw of you
I just had sex in the men's bathroom of a Chinese buffet...
YOU ARE MY HERO
You proceeded to get into a playground school bus and yell "all aboard to Margaritaville!"
The only flat surface we had was a cheez it box so we snorted the blow off of that. Rock bottom really isn't that bad.
I have so many plans for this weekend and sobriety is not invited.
Somehow I ended up in a different costume dancing with some tree of a guy in the basement bathroom, what did you give me?
Have you ever had chicken nuggets while high? Because it tastes like hearing the Beatles for the first time
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