So tired and we had a cokehead in the salon today making us bleach her whole head because she thought it would let her pass her drug test for custody of her kid
Oh.My.God.
i might even pee on it at walmart i am so nervous
I still have your handprint on my ass. You're not allowed to ignore me yet.
oh awks just saw the head of medical staff who I punched the bottle of wine at
I think I reached optimum potential when I summersaulted straight into a kiddie pool.
No, earlier you attempted Jenga with everyones shoes.
Good idea. You gotta take care of your vagina. She takes care of you. Pay it forward.
Homeboy was juggling while taking bong rips. Of course he got laid.
I have their Unicorn picture in my shirt, and I just threw a Bud Light Platinum bottle through their window. We need to go now.
She was trying to drink out of the beer bong and she thought it didn't work. Little did she know there was no beer in there. Then she got mad at us. Girls.
Because I'm a hot mess throwing up in the litter box
i feel sensations at the ends of my beard. Either I am super high. Or my face has accepted my beard and I completed my transformation to Mecca
I am never drinking with the goths again.
He made me tacos after the sex. Best date ever!
I mean there are real risks associated with having unprotected sex, but I don’t think I need to worry about a ghost possessing me and having unprotected sex while using my body
anything below 65° is too cold to be naked on a roof
Randomize
