Midget sex pt 2 tonight
Threw my underwear in my purse as I was running away after sex last night, went to pick up my birth control prescription this morning, took out my wallet and accidentally flung my sweet thong onto the counter in front of the cashier. Think that was the universes way of telling me I am a whore.
what if every blade of grass was a penis?
yeah she was being a bitch. do you remember me stealing ryan cabrerra's beer?!?!
im pretty sure while i was fucking her my dog was fucking her dog too
I left you pizza on the porch. I didn't want to wake you, if you were passed out on the bathroom floor again. Sorry if it's cold.
Woke up with his dick on the side of my face, it's like he passed out mid-mushroom stamp.
How can I not totally like a guy that told me my boobs were too big for me to be taught how to play golf?
You're a Heat fan? You lose any chance blowjob bc of your poor choice.
Being drunk with magicians is fucking mind blowing. This Asian guy just made a platypus appear and disappear. This is not a drill.
there's people who respect me enough not to bang on my bed and i think that's beautiful
I dont remember you getting a condom thrown at you. I think I had a concusion
does anyone know where bryan is?
last i saw he was naked, and crying in the bathroom because there was no more booze.
I flashed my boobs, shit my pants, and kissed the wrong twin. I'm on a roll you don't want in on.
What did you spend the night in her closet?
She said she was saving me for breakfast and locked me in there
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