is it cool if i come over and use your computer?
what happened to yours?
i got a little to drunk last night and threw up on it...then i tried to wash it off under the sink.
he sent her a picture of his penis to show that he "trusts her" or some shit like that..well she showed it to me, and let me just tell you..it looked like a freaking slug or something. creepiest penis i've ever seen. hands down
i just yelled "run, its godzirra!" to an asian kid who looked confused by the tornado alarm test
i found a beer bottle on top of the urinal, peed in it and put it back... if anyone gets drunk enough to fall for it they deserve it
Mmmhmmm sure, nice try, but there's certain wounds that only bj's can heal
But i don't feel like talking to him right now. I woke up an hour ago to a picture of his penis and I AM NOT A MORNING PERSON.
She said she was jealous that i could wear headbands, then growled at the ground in shame..
He said the last thing he remembered thinking was: 'Why is this vagina spinning?' Too drunk sex is no ones friend.
And by pregame I mean drink heavily and watch Russian dash cam car crash vids
I feel like my map app knows I'm hungover and is strategically not driving me by fast food places so I cannot stop
He fucked me so well and hard that the couch slid into the Christmas tree. I had to pull branches out of my hair.
My night has consisted of googling cat penises and creating a Tinder profile.
what do u think we would be doing right now if we were together
Urinating on unicorns
Dude i just passed out while getting head...she cried
Alcohol and video games. A solid Friday night. Even before covid
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