i blew a .213 what kind of thug blows the compton area code exactly? this guy
I thought he was joking about bailing you out until I saw the picture of you and the sheep in the morning paper. Were those my boots you had on it
sarcasm needs its own font
you know you made it when your beer pong table is made from imported italian hardwood
he called me from germany to tell me about all the gummy bears he bought...i'm doubting his sobriety
He legit asked if he could come over for a hug. I feel like I've been booty called by a 12 year old.
Why are there sofa cushions on the floor? And why isn't there a sofa in this room that doesn't have cushions?
No more fucking baseball tools. Walk-of-shamed home in only a pinstriped jersey and a Red Sox SnapBack.
I was just laying in bed wondering if there's more important things in life than cheese stuffed pretzels.
I get a nose bleed and my uncle is automatically giving me the "your doing lines off dashboards again aren't you" look
Spent fifteen minutes in the car thinking i was psychic before i realized the cd was not on shuffle
Also you can't just sext a Michelle quote from Full House.
They just made me take another shot and I found out the liquor store next to my brothers house has a petting zoo
Mind. Blown.
Thanks for making me a drunk burrito last night and cutting it into bite size pieces, I always knew you were a keeper.
I just woke up with a pair of handcuffs in my pants, can u explain this?
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