oh my god. my mom just found my pipe. she thought it was a dildo.
like i said, there should be a sitcom about your family.
just found more coke in my pocket. i love not washing my jeans after every individual use.
tonight's goal was "most regrettable decision" and you bring wine coolers?
My vagina has become a graveyard for my brother's friendships...
Two people in the coffee shop I'm at are on a date and talking about how acid has affected them and the girl just mentioned meth. Fuck studying, this just got interesting.
Is "blowjob enthusiast" a bad costume?
Just climbed to the top of a frozen waterfall! Do you want to do drugs tm night? The two are unrelated.
Writing apology letters and leaving them on peoples doors for your actions is NOT what I want to be doing at 6am.
I went to grab his drink and my hand grazed his dick. It was magical.
HE THREATENED ME WITH A CACTUS. WHERE DID HE EVEN GET A CACTUS.
Hate to say it and even though I definitely have a biased opinion but I'm surprised your not, sleeping with anyone else. Good personality, charisma and amazing in the sack.
Feel free to use me as a reference.
Overslept. So hungover. Apparently texting the first person in my contact list the time I would like to wake up is not how the alarm clock in my phone actually works.
I am a 5'4" ball of sexual frustration and vodka. It is that kind of night.
He wants to tie me naked and spread out on his table, press a vibrator to my clit and feed me ice cream.
That is my stoner wet dream!
On the way home she told me she was in kindergarten when 9/11 happened
Randomize
