I'm drunk in f*****g wisconsin and want to kill myself.
If it's any consolation, be grateful that you're not in New Jersey.
I just found out the FDA voted to ban Vicodin, my last connection to this world has been destroyed
Next weekend I am getting a library card and staying my whore ass home.
So at this point...I'm sure you heard the story about Saturday night
And now we have yet another reason to never travel to Detroit
I thought he was joking about the hundred beer challenge until two guys showed up with a camera and boom mic. This cabin party is going to be fucked
All I remember is running out of the bathroom with one shoe on and the other in my hand. Pretty sure I was yelling as well.
Feels like someone put a cigar out where my butthole used to live
Youre not supposed to get arrested if your parents fly you home for christmas!
True but this has the bonus of them maybe not wanting to fly me home next year, im good with that didnt wanna go in the first place.
I think I'm drunk at the airport. Oh the possibilities
I preemptively put on a cape before eating a bunch of weed brownies. Best decision ever.
I called you daddy and let you stick things in my butt, I am a damn 11.
I'm determined to sit on that face.
home. only unpacked the necessities...contact case and beer.
Really should've known 2020 was gonna suck when the guy dressed as baby new year got arrested at our party 5 past midnight...
Randomize
