When I masturbate I pretend my dick is the slap chop an I'm destroying vegtables. Do you think that's a eating disorder?
Drinking in an igloo changes everything.
She got mad when I told her I'd bone her mom. She got MORE mad when her mom heard, and was flattered by it. Proud to say I attract MILFS.
this mix will be the most desperate cry for affection in the history of itunes.
she peed. on the sidewalk. it is 2 pm. Help.
I told her that I thought she needed an oral mammogram. With me being pre-med she bought it.
$5 off purchases of eighths or more today only. Happy tax-free weekend. -Your consumer-minded pot dealer
Tommarow we shall sacrifice the freshmen to the sun god
Took "drink until he's cute" to a whole new level last night...
When he was going down on me I referred to him as "Lord Snow" and HE GOT IT. HE GOT THE GAME OF THRONES REFERENCE. I AM IN LOVE
Thanks for the pic It's going to be lovely dealing with my boner while I'm in a meeting with your father.
Life if anyone rolls up to my funeral with shitty weed get them out of there
I just slammed a bottle of white wine before I came to Whole Foods so basically I'm just training to be a middle aged white woman.
I danced my ass off after the funeral last night. Kept dropping it low and I can feel it in my legs today. Im like shit I needa go work out
What a way to honor the dead
They got skeletons in the booths to enforce social distancing.
Thought they were weekend at berniesing that shit at first.
Randomize
