I am at The Loft in SoNo, and there are two girls within arms reach that are making out with each other AGGRESIVELY. Like I can see 100% of a boob
For future reference, this is Trevors little sisters phone now. Trevs number is 484 XXX XXXX. Great story tho
this morning my mom told me to get a new vibrator because mine was too loud last night
i fell asleep watchin iron chef that was the blender she heard. i dont even own a vibrator
After me and my boyfriend broke up I had to resist the temptation to send a mass text to my booty calls saying "thank you for your patience. it will be rewarded."
Its like a 4.5 hour drive but there's drinking involved so I'm destined to go
we turned his baptism video into a drinking game
Is it weird that I want your dad to go down on me?
Just got a free shot w my beer...it's not quite 11am yet...I love international travel. These people aren't judgmental.
obviously he wasnt ready for this jelly and you can quote me on that
I'm going to go out on a limb and say last night was a success, also the neighbors are counting down the days until we move out.
The 12 year old son winked and made eyes at me while his father fed me vodka gummy bears. Gameday yo
We should drive around in your Jeep on snow days and get stoned while we help random strangers stuck in the snow. So much good karma.
Just came to the realization that what I thought were orgasms were just lightheadedness from hyperventilation. My entire sex life is a lie.
I had her buy me a cock ring, so we might test that out. We are presently playing yahtzee.
Cock rings and yahtzee. Like peanut butter and jelly.
80% sure the drag queens carried her home
Stay away a while longer.
Still not sure if they're cops or strippers.
Randomize
