you guys were way drunker than both of me
My parents showed me my IQ test from fourth grade, I'm shitting on my potential.
My workout was carrying 2 cases home from the grocery. It's Bowl Week.
I'm so ready for finals. She finally agreed to skypesex me from spain so now i'm up until 4am studying every morning waiting for her to get online
How is it possible that I am in a completely different city, and there are 2 dudes here that I've banged? How????
I am listening to lecture and I can hear us in the background talking about anal beads.
I woke up naked under desk at her apt once during my freshman year. I should have known that friendship was of a different breed...
we broke the bed, curtan rods, a dresser drawer, and unless I didn't notice it before, we put a hole in the wall. This is why he and I have to fuck in motels.
Well i would have gone to the bar but Satan decided to hold his rituals in my uterus.
Yeah no problem. What are blow job angels for anyways
I thought you might think I was an idiot who thought cock rings prevent STDs,
You were crying hysterically
So that's why my heels were in the oven...
So far 2 of my professors caught me looking at their dicks
you're not celebrating your 21st birthday right unless you give a male stripper a hand job, flash the bartender, and win a free vibrator.
Dude it's unhealthy how much I love vagina in my face
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