More tranny stories later!
I was debating whether her purse was real then I saw her puke in it.
Just bought plan B with a coupon. Told the pharmacist I like to keep it classy.
Every day you talk to me ... I literally love you more..
The crowning achievement of my weekend was hooking up with someone I'm at least facebook friends with.
his mom and i are swapping prescript pills..totally mother in law material.
and now her best friend is massaging my table under the leg. this may not end well.
I made him recite stats from the playoffs game last night before I would go down on him.
Maybe the downfall to liking really smart guys is that they're to smart to think about sex all the time.
I concluded last night that you have no tear ducts, heart, or sense of any feeling.
Will you judge me if i do shots in my basement closet first? No? Okay good
I heard you were drinking whiskey straight from the bottle last night.
Actually I was drinking whiskey straight from 3 bottles, but that is neither here nor there.
On another note, I feel like my vagina is slowly being peeled off with a rusty potato peeler.
I ate shrooms on a frozen river in an ice fishing shack after a day of vics and beer and walked around on the river in a stupor. They made me bite the head off of a fish.
I just cut open the plastic package of a Plan B pill using the bottle opener I carry in my purse. #whyidrink
You can make out without kissing
Explanation needed
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