Is it necrophilia if we're both dead?
i had a dream last night that you and i organized a foursome. swear to god
ps i'll be in miami in early july. this text has no relation to the last one
Short Circuit remake moving forward, David Carradine dead by his own hand. Come home soon, society deteriorating rapidly. Nation's capitol likely not safe.
I got cut off for calling the flower girl a slut. What are you doing?
First I must say that I am disappointed to learn that you knowingly have trashy friends with whom you've not hooked me up.
Wow way to turn my death into an oppurtunity to get laid
they're both probably 7 inches? or 8? I'm shoving a ruler in my mouth trying to figure it out
That's the last time I get in a car with six rappers headed to god knows where.
Dude I just came exactly at the crescendo of the Catalina wine mixer duet from step brothers.. Advance to next level.
I wonder if there is a über wall of shame that you are currently on. Like between drivers.
Oh my god I need an adult
Wait shit I am an adult
Okay she just told me to turn the volume down on the fan. What does this even mean?
While I was giving him head he told me he had to go door to door the next day and "spread the word of Jesus Christ" I felt like a Disney villain out to steal his virtue.
If I had a dollar for every functioning brain cell you had I would owe someone a lot of money
then he said the sex was mediocre and that it was because of me. and that we could try again tomorrow.
it was 100% mediocre because of him, and we will 100% not be trying again tomorrow.
Randomize