I just saw a San Diego firetruck. No wonder they can't figure out how to fight wildfires if they get so fucking lost they end up in Nebraska.
if my college career had corporate sponsors, they would be natty light and aim toothpaste.
I just won Halloween Walk of Shame Bingo!
I havnt had this much beer since i losodt my virginity. thank. god.
he was pretty good aside from the whole putting his tongue on my butt thing
she kept peeing on everything and yelling it was now her property.
Also managed to rip my pants and set myself on fire. And oddly enough I'm still not ready to ask for 2010 back.
She had her insurance card taped to her arm because it was the only thing she "couldn't take off and lose"
This is like the best thing that's ever happened to us. We're getting paid to sit around get high and eat. There is a Jesus
I'm pretty sure I have enough material at this point to start a blog called Guys I've Banged in Pictures together. Why does this keep happening to me!
Just cried because I'm out of oreos. This post-molly depression can go fuck itself.
This strip club is mediocre. Talent is fine. Fung shui is bad.
Getting high with your mom, but thinking of you!
Only in the emergency room do they shut the door when youre laughing too hard
Never thought I'd see the day when I got assless chaps in the mail, and yet here we are...
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