I just heard a teenager say to his friend "dats my baby! i was hittin her up on myspace like gurllll. she got me steamin". must have missed the memo its 2005 and we still use myspace.
the bulge in his pants is not junk. its hair. trust.
already putting money aside for 4/20. you ready for the greatest tuesday ever?
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
We didn't have a blender for the margaritas, so she tried to use the garbage disposal and wasted half a handle of my grandpa's good tequila.
How do you feel?
Like the devil himself shit me out, baked me into a pie, ate the pie, and shit me out again.
You just stood up, raised your glass and said, "I'd like to thank the academy" then fell through a glass table. THAT'S why we cut you off.
just because the DWI class is located at the University does not make him a professor. I was duped, he is in no way, shape or form a professor!
Apparently it's bring your ugly annoying ass piece of shit slob of a baby day at work
Debating going to the grocery store with my vibrator still in, cause I can't stand the idea of it out. Lets do some risk/reward
So what kind of fun pills do we have for the amusement park tomorrow?
As soon as we had sex he stopped opening doors for me. That wasn't an exchange. Im still a god damn princess
Your pictures have evolved a lot over the years but I think your angry dick pic phase was one of my favorites
I have never in my life been turned down for sex until this weekend.
Welcome to my everyday.
Banged a girl last night wearing nothing but my Team USA Olympic jersey. I think it's safe to say that nut was for America.
Randomize
