i feel like the song jizz in my pants was made for him.
I want you more than these girls want KFC
if I could go back to kindergarten and not fuck up my life, I so would.
there is way too much butter on my body for this to be okay
Her husband keeps getting drunk and making out with me. Good news is I found the strep carrier. Bad news is have strep again.
you fully convinced the taxi driver that we were in a race
We will have to go big on the 4th! Nothing says independence like the impending doom of an ankle monitor
LOVE ME LIKE A KANGARO LOVES A POUCH YOU DUMB CUNT
Ya I painted "STOP TRYING ANAL" on her headboard. I'm sick of listening to her whine through the wall and bitch the next day.
You just can't come from being "the girl who shit her pants."
I just want to trick people into going on dates with me so they can bring back to their houses and let me use their wifi.
That moment during finals day when you either convince your teacher to let you out of the room or you shit you pants.
Ok. As long as I can keep Kevin contained to the room I'll be ok. If not u might have a naked puking Kevin at ur door
Here's a concept though: eating pasta while getting laid
You are hungover. Your arguments are irrational an incoherent. We only played twice. Have some Gatorade and take a knee.
Randomize
