Don't forget I'm 20 now
I liked you more when you were 19
I remember spending $50 at Ozzie's on Friday...my Visa remembers $120.
Weddings at vineyards should never be allowed to happen. I'm pretty sure I drank every bottle they produced in 2008.
I'm on my fifth double. This night is getting better whether it likes it or not.
we weren't quite sure what was on that mirror, so we snorted it and hoped for the best
you're not a real person. you're actually just like a box of wine that can talk
Just now remembered singing Trashy Women at the reception. Not karaoke, just sang along with the mic I stole from the DJ. All while still in my dress drinking champagne from the bottle
Im sitting on the exxon bathroom floor, idk if its healthy but it sure is cold
She sucks. And I almost hooked up with a clown last night
I just spent 10 min explaining to my mom how orange is a strange color. I think she knows
Let's just say I've never been so continually aware of my nipples before.
I just saw someone dressed as a bear leave your house on a motorcycle. I guess you guys are having a good time.
I woke up with masking tape on my nipples this morning........... WHY DO BAD THINGS HAPPEN TO GOOD PEOPLE
And with one simple text you can separate the men from the boys...."it's that time of the month."
How’s your Christmas Eve so far?
I just chased my melatonin with red wine. It’s 12:00pm.
Randomize