I know you are passed out now but when you wake up in the morning your keys are in the freezer and your probly gunna want to apologize to your gf...
Soooo billy mays was on coke. I'm about as shocked as I was when Clay Aiken came out
there is no way he can be that small
look on the bright side he'll over comepensate
i had to apologize to my friends for being friends with me
I don't think child baring hips is a compliment.
Next time, showing us his dick should be his entry fee into your house.
Sorry girl, my dick is like a rollercoaster. You only get a picture after you ride
We attempted to microwave fifteen corndogs in the microwave and may have ruined it. Also there were fake mustaches on all of his appliances...he said he doesn't like drunk me.
I was wasted and the time changed. I blame the male strippers.
No it was good. I serenaded the holding cell occupants with a fabulous rendition of Making Love out of Nothing at all. It was fucking amazing!
We were coming but I found wine on my way out the door.
You meet the best people naked in a hot tub at 2 am.
Hungover playing piano at a baptism I am the PICTURE of class I feel like I should be struck by lightning
I'd have to have a ring. Like I don't want to be called "the ex girlfriend that shit on me"
I think the cop who arrested me yesterday is at my gym rn should I say hi
Randomize
