I would have been "that girl" at the party last night if it wasn't for that girl who puked in the potted plant...
Yea...but the guy who is beating me has a ponytail. So actually, I'm the winner here.
Somewhere between the 2 hours of sex and her urgently rushing to work she manged to steal all $329.33 in my jeans. Worst one night stand ever, she even took the pennies.
i don't know at this point bringing the fog horn might be a good idea...
Apparently we were arguing for captain seats so I shouted "who has your virginity." I got the seat.
Im in mikes bed telling my vagina I'm sorry in advance.
threw up on my 7.30 AM placement test. Never again
She showed up in lingerie and a turtle backpack full of bacardi. I think its love.
You raged at the rock climbing place for not selling beer and then just said "fuck it" and pulled out a flask.
I'm at the point where I'm more upset that he got to keep my bottle of Fireball than that he stopped talking to me with no explanation
I told him I tried to eat a stranger's sandwich while I was drunk. Mildly disappointed but he realizes he has me for a kid.
I am the only person I know ever to have been brought TO the bar in the back of a cop a car. Twice.
New drinking game, drink every time Rhianna says "Work" in her new song.
I have photo proof.
Girl, don't care. What's my rule? If I don't remember it, it never happened.
Bro, that'd be the third dick I've taken down in the office.
Randomize
