If this place produced love children they would be born wearing Lilly Pullitzer with raging coke addictions.
In hindsight, i should have predicted that a drink called the 'rocky mountain bear fucker' would not end in a pleasant experience
His dick was so small it sat perched on top of his balls like it was king of his scrotum.
i'm at the point now where i want him to say anything. even an apology for his boomerang-shaped penis would be nicer than no comment.
I spent my night drunkenly staring at a picture of John Stamos. How do you think I feel?
She just did a bodyshot off herself. I don't care that it's only seven thirty, come pick her up.
First coke bust down the road. Spring is finally here.
Just found a ramen cup in the stall and all of the showers running with no one in them. WHERE ARE YOU?
his phone is always ringing though. It makes me feel like I'm dating a doctor who's always on call.
yeah, dating a doctor sounds much better than fucking your drug dealer.
just puked a little into my hand/sleeve. way too hungover for the first day of class
We have started to decorate penises.
Signs you do Molly too much. Glow sticks fallout of random articles of clothing on academic row
You don't even know. The entire marching band thinks I'm an alcoholic.
he has the ass of a greek god and he made me breakfast
Dude, my vagina feels like new again! I love antibiotics. How's your day?
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