she called me screaming that i shouldn't ignore her phone calls, because she's not trying to get me to hang out with her and she doesn't want to be my girlfriend, she just wants sex.
what did you do?
i asked her out. that's so hot.
I'm not to broken up about it. Our relationship was worse than a coldplay song.
it was like one of those moments where the couple runs together and kisses and everyone in the airport claps. but instead of clapping an indian guy walked by and said 'ahhhright! get some!'
he was walking around the bar drinking wild turkey and gobbling simultaneously
she read insantiy as in-nast-tit-ty and asked what the hell does that mean...
I mean. If you don't have time I understand, but my dick doesn't.
But why is there no point in liking him? Does he have herpes? Is he married? Is he gay? Did he get his penis chopped off in a freak accident? If the answer is no to all of the above, then he is fair game
2am update: i think I'm in Mexico but I found a dennys. Everyone but this cute family of 4 is speaking Spanish. Cute family of 4 is helping me out.
Well for better or worse the home brew is almost done, want to get drunk/loose your sight tonight?
You are a booty call, not a friend.
Sometimes I'm jealous of turtles because they can just go to their homes whenever they want by putting their heads in their bodies.
How high are you?
He told me that his favorite part about me is hearing my voice while we fuck. I think that was the nicest thing he has EVER said to me.
SORRY BITCH CAN'T, TAKING SHOTS TO WHITNEY HOUSTON.
I'm kinda surprised he wouldn't be honored to take me back as a fuck buddy.
like i got into his car and the beatles were playing. this kid is def getting his dick sucked
Randomize
