All I remember from last night is puking up a box of cheeze-its and the building catching on fire.
why is allison so mad at me??
me and her walked into dans and you yelled "hello my dear alli, you're looking mighty overweight today!".
crap..
Someones car got stolen, everyone is yelling, and im drunk just sayin yeah buddy over and over again
Drunk lesbians having an argument about their realationship isn't as hot as I imagined.....
I found a map from his room to his bathroom this morning in my purse. Apparently I was too fucked up to get there without one.
Did you really end last night's sexting with "Stay thirsty my friend"?
He just made me apologize because his morning wood is NOT a laughing matter.
I'm challenging a 70 yr old alcoholic woman who is half my size tonight. Wish me luck
Everything was going great until my fake mustache fell off when we started making out.
I fingered myself to realization that I don't need birth control if there is never a guy.
Who says no to sex and donuts?!
Im watching animal planet drunk, watching a documentary on mermaids. Tonight has not gone to waste.
Is it weird to befriend your older alcoholic landlords?
I'm more heavily invested in that tequila than you are
Honestly the prospect of dick really lifts a girl's spirits
Randomize
