They say you shouldnt they say its no good for the environment in your vagina
I just went in my fridge and said to my turkey "see you thursday". I seriously have issues
Sitting at a bar next to a guy wearing sunglasses drinking a pitcher by himself and having an argument with himself over if journey is more ballin than kiss. Feel better about myself.
Just found the bucket list I wrote when I was high...somehow I dont think "jello swimming pool" is gonna happen.
constantly striving to make life awkward and more complicated, one drunk bone at a time.
Front seat of an Escalade in a limo-service parking lot. That is all.
Couple of things: my nipples are blue and knowing that at some point I'm going to have to poop is incredibly terrifying
Just googled "penis wearing a hat" i think it's safe to say nobody found my ex's lost phone...
After seeing all of the pics during the trial, all I could think was "her vagina doesn't look THAT dangerous"
is it weird to think that girls born in '96 are now legal?
Life is my bitch right now. The bouncers tried to carry me out of the club, but everyone thought I was crowd surfing so everyone carried me BACK IN. Winning as fuck.
Just busted the chick who slept with my boyfriend with alcohol. God I love being an RA.
My brain and heart say thanks but my vagina isn't super pleased with you right now
I walked in to you guys using a milk jug as a gravity bong
Surrounded by smaller versions of the same
Found like seven bruises in the shower. One was shaped like a hand. Best. Sex. Ever.
Randomize
