Today I ate a sandwich and half my molar fell off, feels like a semi sprayed into my jaw.
I wish i was spraying into your jaw.
It wasn't a wasted relationship. I got road-head in an Escalade. I still keep that with me.
Dude its so hot it my room I can't jack off. Its gonna be a long summer.
and then you started talkingabout how you wish birth control was disspensed as a candy necklace
Blah blah blah. Just come home and put a baby in me.
Wesley I'm sober and my body hurts. There wasn't much trust in any of those falls.
I just threw up all of my lunch in the Barnes & Nobles parking lot. Rockbottom tastes like a veggie burger, in case you were wondering.
Its official... I need to stop being so slutty.. the guy I had sex with on friday delivered my jimmy johns tonight.
EW HE LOOKS LIKE SOMEONE'S DAD
Yep. The ghost of my sex life is in your house.
He got up after sex and said "is it wrong if I say happy Mother's Day?"
I use my feet as sexual weapons
The only thing I remember is the 300 pound man breaking ur railing from sliding down it at 3 am. Must of been a good night.
Wow this just keeps getting better, weed, shrooms, a stripper..........a gun.
Still drunk, heading to class.
It's 3 a.m. Dude
Doesn't mean I'm not at my desk. Ill wait.
Randomize
