how to cook rice: 1. put random amount of rice and water in a pot 2. have sex on the kitchen floor. when you are done having sex the rice is ready
Dude ur right that IS what a vagina looks like!
Do everybody a favor and GET LAID MORE.
Just did a line with a monopoly bill. Tell me I'm not fancy.
i used baking grease as lip gloss
He was wearing his Class of 2007 shirt so I sat there for 5 minutes and read all the names of the guys I can remember giving head to.
Day 8 of being sober: Sniffed an empty beer bottle at a restaurent and almost licked it. This is not working
I can't wait to be a mother. My daughters gonna outdrink every boy in her grade
He handled me like a finger puppet on crack... Time to ice the vagina, I'd like to sit down sometime today.
Hardest I think I've ever had to work for a shack. Whatevs. Still gonna get my way though. I'll start respecting myself on Monday
He is asleep with his dick hanging out of my my little pony pajamas. I am required to wake this man up by blowjob
Your sexual fantasies often terrify me but get a pic
Well I think won that argument, as the cops were leaving, they offered me a ride to the airport
I achieved the level of drunk I wanted even with the length of dress I was in..
You know it's NBA season when you compare head to 3 pointers.
i feel as though me waking up and asking her if i went to the hospital was a sign that i was not okay
I drank beer out of a Frisbee and it was all downhill from there...
Randomize
