If there was chocolate on Regis Philban's dick, I would totally lick it off. That's how desperate I am for some right now.
He sat on a barstool and did the robot for 3 hours - I'm pretty sure he enjoyed himself.
ya i found him eventually. hes the only one who drinks guiness so I just had to follow the darkest green puke trail
I just had a flashback to last nights party, I'm pretty sure I told most of the people there that I post a masturbation schedule for an iCal download.
You know who really doesn't like surpise in-your-face air guitar solos? Strangers.
She is chewing on staples and spitting them at her cat, I think it's time to leave..
you really dont want me to drink and drive. you saw what i did to my face and that was only from walking
If it's any consolation, your boobs looked awesome.
May or may not be going home with my jamitor. i'm kiddong, btw, i have no idea. i'll let you know soooon.
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
I would love a rich wife. Then I would be like a gym teacher or some shit. Bigfoot hunter maybe.
I flashed the bar tender last night. Apparently I wanted a whiskey to go and that was the golden ticket. This is why I never come home
Wife and kids came home early...naked passed out covered in chili cheese Fritos dad will haunt them forever.
I'm putting his belongings the garage sale so he can buy his own stuff back. # divorced life. Thanks for cheating on me you tone deaf dick biscuit that'll be $20. Haha.
I have beer and butt plugs...pretty sure I will find a way to entertain myself while I wait
Randomize
