while fucking on the counter the whip cream was conveniently right next to us. i love thanksgiving
you made them have somersault races with you thru the lobby..
Dude, had to, it's Canada Day, I fucked her for Canada. Seriously, I put my Canadian flag on my bed and fucked her on it.
Apparently I walked up to him, mumbled something incoherently, then started to make out with him. Why does this always happen.
Beer pong consisted of me throwing a ball at the wall and then falling over because moving my arm made me dizzy. I think our team lost.
We just started the day with vitamin bombs. Daily vitamin + whatever's left in your glass from last night = feel like a champion
I just can't deal with that sentence
Passed out on the bench in the men's bathroom. Feel much better now.
I'm sitting in Starbucks, waiting for direction in my life, or it to be 8 p.m. Whatever comes first.
Any time you've had a failed relationship, I blast No Sex for Ben by The Rapture and dance around my room. I wish I was joking.
That is romantic
Well sometimes you just gotta put your dicks and pizzas together to show you care
First night of sleeping in the same bed, and she farted on me. I immediately excused myself and went home. Don't know if we're still together. Will update you.
I saved a sauce packet from taco bell that said "Free me" to use in my next break up.
Just keep me informed about your plans. That way i can figure out places to go and if i need to shave my balls
woke up. showered n got ready. had sex. and was still 15 minutes early to work... its gonna be a good day!
We all love a big dick, but you’re going to develop a reputation if you keep asking every guy at the bar ‘how big your dick’
That’s all I’m saying
Randomize
