U Should have said " it's ok baby most girls Sh*t when I do that.
just saw a man remove a wedgie from his lady's ass. who says chivalry is dead.
we live in such a classy society.
He came in my eye, I lost my earring and all of his friends saw me topless. Happy New Year to you as well.
you're just mad cause i madeout with you while having a mouth full of chewed pretzels
He thought I was flirting with him but really I just needed someone to hold me up.
nope, if she's going to skank it up with ginge-a-saurus douche she deserves the silent treatment.
He came in both my eyes, then refused to give me a towel unless I found him by playing Marco Polo
I'm doing blow on my fuzzy rug
Come join me
Turns out the average person our age has never run from the cops. Life: we're doing it right.
I think I may have accidentally stepped in fire
I get off at 11. but they've been letting me go early cuz I've been crying a lot
He told me that when he bends me over that chair I remind him of a bull rider. So thanks for being the ex that helps my present sex life
i've hit rock bottom. Eating pringles and playing taylor swift on guitar in my underwear at 11am on a wedensday morning. Sober.
Fuuuuuck dude, he’s got #Excel in his Facebook bio; I’m screaming
Omfg I just White Claw shamed a Girl Scout Cookie mom and I feel SO BAD.
Randomize
