YOu come back ASAP and we will do whatever you want baby
He said he was just looking at my pictures and was thinking about how he wanted to cut my hair..then dye it black and put platnium blonde extensions throughout it and layer my hair
I actually told the people in the movie theatre to give me a cup and I would dip water from the toilet before I paid $4.50 for a bottle of water.
he was lying next to me and i saw him text "score" to someone.
i woke up in the lobby of Holiday Inn on a chair sitting up straight
I opened my browser to a doctor page titled "serious pain under left side of ribcage". Last night must have been healthy.
She saved the condom from the first time we did it.
He caught a squirrel with his bare hands twice. Where do you find these people?
she gave me head while wearing a sombrero and told me it was her "welcome to south of the border" blowjob. i am never leaving mexico.
I will give you 100$, a blow job a day for a month and I will shave my legs according to societal standards until next November if you come recuse me from my night class right NOW.
We'll talk about this tommorrow when I'm not mistaking my fingers for French fries....
Responsible roommate: 1. Someone who takes a huge shit at work so as not to clog the toilet at home.
I think a girl on my floor is watching zombie porn. There is literally no other description for the noise coming from her room.
Running my fingers through my hair is like that scene from Patch Adams where the girl goes swimming in a pool of spaghetti. I love molly.
I still can't believe I was army crawling thru his backyard at 2am..
Randomize
