just found out my sister was breast fed and i was not...pretty upset about that.
it was like one of those moments where the couple runs together and kisses and everyone in the airport claps. but instead of clapping an indian guy walked by and said 'ahhhright! get some!'
You don't think I'm weird or immature right?
No I think it's cute we had sex on your Bob the Builder sheets
im goin to the NYE party with a tuxedo painted on my body. i know a girl who does it. wanna join?
God gave me these boobs for a reason other than for people to throw things down them.
He's got a wife and three kids but I'm into being that mistake.
There's sex hanging in the air like a pinata. European people are no joke.
he asked me for a gerbil feeder full of alcohol
If you fall asleep, my vagina and I will never forgive you.
BOOM BITCH SERVES YOU RIGHT I HOPE YOU SHIT YOURSELF PETER PAN
He doesn't like Sabbath and that alone is a GIANT red flag. Learn from my experiences and never, I mean NEVER associate with people that hate Black Sabbath and Motörhead.
when u match a guy bc he's from Oregon & he's trying to flirt, shut up i just want to talk about trees
...its technically supposed to be for the bridal shower but I think I can find an ensemble that says "im hopped up on x. Stick your tongue down my throat." As well as " im supporting your marriage to my brother"
I smell like cotton candy and guilt.
RESPOND QUICKLY THIS IS AN EMERGENCY!!! LITERALLY AN 11 INCH DICK!!!!! HELP.
Randomize
