That was rough. We had a 50% puke rate and 100% still drunk rate at lunch
So I went to have a snack...can you please tell me why there's a condom in the hummus?
I just puked in the mop bucket at work. I think I need to go home.
I just smoked a bowl in the dining room and am now drinking a glass of chocolate milk. i can't believe i'm getting paid for this.
i just added no after every hockey player in my phone..
Stripperoke is exactly what it sounds...
I woke up next to him fully clothed but my thong was around his neck. Polling to decide if we had sex or not starts now.
According to this USDA thing I just read, I should either get upper respiratory issues or begin to bleed from my nose and mouth.
I may or may not have just ruined a marriage. But in my defense I got all my drinks for free tonight.
I can't help but feel like we would be friends still if my phone didn't always capitalize BUTTLOAD...
On a scale of one to liver failure, how bad would it be if I played thunderstruck alone?
Would you like season tickets to my vagina?
Was just trying to have a normal "I fucked you without a condom" adult conversation and she flipped
You should come over tomorrow. Wine, pizza and my vagina. Those are all great things.
I'd like to know who hasn't seen my tits tonight.
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