You're mentally unstable and I would hate to be you
I dont get chicks, its like they only care about themselves and money
sounds like you understand them just fine
one two three fourrrrnication!
I locked my keys in my car in front of planned parenthood. I'm terrified of going inside to ask to borrow a clothes hangar.
Just tell them you need to fix a mistake real quick.
Don't pass out before midnight like you did last year. See how much your year sucked
Remember in school when they told us our vag was made just the right size for our future husband? I must say I am enjoying trying to find that perfect fit.
Using your Catholic School education as an excuse for this? Why didn't I think of that?!
I fed him jelly beans while he fingered me. Win, win situation.
yes he does come on. what guy wouldnt want his penis named after a dragon
Im eating a cannibus peanut butter and jelly sandwich, while snuggling a stuffed animal. Either this flu is really really harsh or I'm some kind of stoner toddler
He just sent me the contact information about getting the Zebra for graduation...
He's holding a pee stick. Yes it's weird.
She's been drunk for three days now
Like three straight days. 72 hours
She's been covered in glitter for the last two and somehow she found a monkey
Amanda, I can 99.9% assure you i'm probably never going to bang your mom
I DON'T LIKE THAT SENTENCE
Like either my tits got bigger or I've succumbed to Trumps tiny hand syndrome
For the love of god, if any of you are up, bring me pants.
Randomize
