Grinding on my ninth grade teacher. Dreams really do come true
this is ridiculous... i look like a white version of MC Hammer...
He just knocked over the beer pong table... I haven't seen so much fail in one room since I watched "Mall Cop" with my grandma
So she comes up to me at the end of the night and asks me if I going to take her home and fuck her. I pretty much had to right?
you had an obligation.
I know I should be focused on nurturing their bright little minds but it's 10 a.m. and I need a cock in my mouth
No exaggeration. At the gas station she handed me the mop from over the counter and told me that's my last drink of the night
she was literally 3 feet away from the garbage can, said she couldn't make it, and then proceeded to vomit on the floor in front of everyone in the restaurant
I was mid-sentence and you stopped me and said, "Yeah.. for my vaginas sake, I'm gonna need you to stop talking right now."
the girl whose rug I peed on is here
I had sex in a panda mask the other night.
She wore her engagement ring the whole time we fucked. I hate her fiancee, so it was cool
It was extremely weird and uncomfortable mid blow job she looks up and says " tell me Simon Cowell makes your dick hard"
ill let you put your finger in a lot of things. but a ring is not one of them.
I can't imagine a friend I would rather lose my virginity to in a threesome.
Greetings from Florida; the armpit of the US, where my 240something lb brother nearly got carried away by some aggressive woodland mosquitoes. I was only spared because they could probably sense I was currently semi-disassociating and would not feel the suffering their presence wrought.
Anyway, how was your day?
Randomize
