i'm at a stripclub and this bitch just lit her nipples on fire!
My dick has been asking about u. He said he didn't do anything wrong n I'm a dumbass
A freshman just woke up on our back pourch... He swears there was a party here last night but we didn't have one
Last night I ate parmesan cheese straight out of the container while watching Chelsea Lately. Look at what happens to me when you leave.
i think you ate grass..but you refused to open your mouth so we could see..
He's 11. You dont draw dicks on 11 year olds, i dont care if he ate your lasagna
My birthday was already very memorable but her punching me in the face put it over the top. I love being 25 and still not giving a fuck.
i sent you a picture of beads you send me a picture of boobs how hard is this to understand
I knew it would get worse when I said I think your roommate is watching and he looked over at him and said ... So?
He asked me if the reason I slept around is because I grew up in a broken home. I am so done fucking Christians.
She needs sedatives and a leash
Right now, there's some ten year old kid getting ready to go outside and play basketball. He will soon find out his basketball hoop was no match for my car.
Swish.
I think we've reached the point in the summer were we need to go back to school. I was so bored yesterday I nearly bought blow dart gun.
Hey. Did I get punched in the face last night?
Yeah. I told you I would and you didn't believe me.
The fuck kind of sorcerer makes a pact with tequila
Most of the people I know from AA
Haha touché
Randomize
