whats up tonight?
Ice cream, wine, and teabags... Not the earl grey kind
I am good. I dancing. Drinking but dancing fine.
How many times a week can a couple have a threesome with the same guy before it becomes some sort of 3-way relationship?
and i was just like oh shit i'm getting felt up by a 15 year old
I just had a boat ride of shame. With Senior Citizens.
there are people swimming in the fountain next to the library... hello senior week
Woke up handcuffed to a half gallon of beam. Yep. This is my life.
not the best booty call
did she squirt?
only if tears count
Dude, for your own safety, do not bring that chick home. I'm pretty sure you're going to find a marsupial pouch smuggling a fresh batch of herpes under that hoodie. Bail bail bail bail bail.
Bro, I just googled 36 year old pussy so when I do see it I won't be shocked.
Whatever the emoticon is for "balls deep". That.
I dapped up a cop while leaving the party
DICK-CITY HERE WE COME
I apparently tried to wax off my nipples.This explains the pain
Drunk me made cabbage burritos at 1am after going to hustler hollywood.\nI bought socks. Lol
Randomize
