There's a 34yo winking at me. Why do i find this weird when my bf is a 38yo married man?
i'm in his bathroom *freshening up* and he not only has a hairdryer... but a straightener. get me out of here... NOW
So, halfway through sex he stops and starts crying. He said he's worried god hates him for all his bad decisions...think he meant to imply I was one of them...
ISS teacher has a tramp stamp.
Shotgun.
$22.99 left in the bank til payday = 3($7 jack & coke) + 2($0.89 T-Bell taco) + $0.21 in case of emergency.
math is fun
i tried slipping money on her dresser whenever she brings guys home hoping she'll start to question her goals in life... i think its only encouraging her
His housemate was playing a sad violin solo for me on my way out. God I hate musicians.
I ran a string through all of my old vicodin bottles and strung them on the tree. Tis the season.
I have to think about this realistically and not with my vagina.
I kept calling him escargot instead of Estaban..I don't think that was the wisest choice.
i cant believe we used adam and eve as a sexting theme last night
Aside from the possibility of pregnancy, I'm going to call last night a raging success.
If I wear a tail on Halloween, how am I supposed to grind? Maybe I will just wear devil horns
Puking in the Ritz Carlton bathroom was actually kind of a nice experience
I'm just going to use my debit card. I feel bad buying pizza with the money I stole from my roommate...so I'm going to put it in my piggy bank.
Randomize
