then I woke up and felt a boner that wasn't even mine. never taking 3am vodka again
I went to go pee and found a strand of your hair wrapped around my penis.
well, it ended with me crying outside the strip club saying i don't want to be 21 anymoree. i'd say it was a great 21st birthday.
maybe these stereotypes wouldn't come up if you would stop taking body shots off another
he wouldn't lick chocolate syrup off of me because he's vegan. most awkward shower ever.
Because everyone is allowed one half drunken 7:30 am walk back to campus in a cowgirl costume, right?
I guess I can give it a shot. I usually just get belligerently drunk and go where my penis and feet lead me. No fights or getting too lost, so they seem to be doing a good job
Is it bad that I'm a 32 year old woman that is so afraid of commitment that a hamster is too much responsibility?
New vibrator arrived today.
How was it?
Who are these wee mortals we call men?
You got stoned and bought $300 worth of pudding. Again! Why do YOU think she left you?
Hiking for a first date sounded like a good idea in theory because there was absolutely no possibility of me blacking out. In practice, I'd rather black out than go through what I just went through.
He fucked me in one of the back rooms at the club then gave me an altoid. I have mixed feelings about it still.
No I didn't say it was safe, I said it was legal. I didn't say anything about it being safe. It's not my fault if you weren't listening properly.
Yeah but now he has a wife. It’s going to be different this year
So what. We’ve banged every Thanksgiving since high school. She just has to understand it’s a holiday tradition
I am going as Rudolph for the Christmas Eve furry orgie.
Is Santa taking the sleigh of slutty reindeer around the neighborhood again this year.
Yes. Several neighbors have requested it.
Randomize
